Left 4 Dead.

For the last like month i feel like i just don't matter to anyone anymore. Like i just don't exist. Im not there or i'm always the last person someone will ask to hang out with. It hurts. i don't know how to explain the hurt but i feel forgotten. work has sucked so much the last month and i just don't think i can keep going on. i grow more and more to quitting. its gonna happen soon. i feel so down when i ask someone what there doing and they don't text me back because they don't wanna say because they didn't invite me. 

i feel so unwanted. everywhere... work, friends, Life.

its 4 am

and i cant sleep...

Da Beard

So i find myself wanting to blog.. but i have nothing to blog about.. haha thanks to chelsea im hooked. so today i found myself thinkin about my beard alot. thinkin about whether i should shave it off or not. i want it to look a certain way. but damn my family genes. they keep me from what i want. but ill keep trying. i really dont know what people think of it but i really dont care. 

till tomarrow... 1 Love

Today was.. Ok

Im not sure how to put this day into words. When i woke up. my dad asked me what i was gonna do today and i answered " I'm not sure" and he replied.. " go be with chelsea?". i broke down. Where i stood is where i fell. i hurt so much inside. I'm not sure why but i do. Like i cant let it go.=[ i just wish for a day i could rewind. Rewind it all and do more then iv done. Be a better person then iv been. i rewind every day in my head. going threw every scenario, thinking what more could i have done. The rest of the day was normal. But im sick of normal. i want more.

But what.....